"Selling out ... doing something you really never wanted to do, and getting paid too much for it."
(Lorrie Moore)

This article should provide the necessary closure for the whole sordid affair. (I've utilized a groundbreaking format that features the "evil" Ryan Bigge interviewing the "good" Ryan Bigge).

Evil Ryan: So, what the hell happened?

Good Ryan: You know, I got caught up in the by-lines and the mastheads and I forgot what the zine was all about -- the shareholders.

Evil Ryan: Finally we're on the same page. First you need to launch a US version. Then create 127 Days to Live TV, a snappy website rich in shockwave animation, an audio cassette version of the zine, online radio programming . . .

Good Ryan: I was kidding. Anyway, I lost track of myself and by extension, the zine, so I decided to give it to somebody else. It turned out to be the classic relationship manoeuvre -- I realized I loved her only after she was gone. With all that time to reflect and weep into my pillow, I started doing freelance work to fill the economic and emotional void.

Evil Ryan: But we enjoyed that a lot, didn't we? Editing articles about Brendan Fraser and Limp Bizkit.

Good Ryan: Well, I enjoyed the work I did, at least on some level, but I'd have been happier not doing it. And now that I've got my zine cash cow back, I hopefully won't have to sully myself much anymore.

Evil Ryan: But think of what we could buy if only we did even more of what you call "selling-out." Cell phones, laptops, fancy clothing -- a wonderful world.

Good Ryan: I'd rather sleep in more and buy less stuff.

Evil Ryan: Well, yes, sloth is rather wonderful. Glad we share at least one seven deadly sin. I also think, despite your strident nature, that your anti-evil edge has been blunted somewhat. You haven't yet produced one of those shrill, left-leaning pull-quotes you seem so adept at engineering.

Good Ryan: Well, I don't have much to say, because from my dealings, I've learned that evil can be rather banal. Which isn't much of a pull quote, but that doesn't make it any less profound. And perhaps that's far more counter-revolutionary than an obvious target of derision. Ontario's Harris government gives the left a focal point for their anger, and they fall for it, somehow believing that if everyone focused their rage on the same axis they'd be able to burn a hole through him, like a magnifying glass and an ant. Perhaps a truer evil is personified by the 905 man who mows his lawn every Sunday and invites his neighbours over for a B-B-Q at politely sporadic intervals yet puts an "X" on the ballot beside the Conservative candidate in his riding.

The other thing I learned from briefly working for an advertiser driven, editorially corrupt youth magazine was that not all evil is created equal. While this company manages to create a slick looking, colourful and sharp publication, behind the scenes is an elephant and peanut show. Worst of all, the most obvious advantage of doing donkey work -- the money -- wasn't spectacular. And to top it all off, they failed to pay me what little they owed with any due haste.

Still, turning down money from "The Man" is tough. Capitulation is a warm lake of caress, while taking a critical stance means fighting the rapids and discovering that you don't get to spawn when you get to your intended destination.

Evil Ryan: Enough talk. Wanna go drink some beer now?

Good Ryan: OK.