Coca-Cola and Pepsi Field Candidates In US Primaries
March 9, 2000

WASHINGTON The Cold war might have ended, but the Cola War continues in earnest, with this week's announcement that a two-liter Coke bottle and a six-pack of Pepsi have entered the political arena.

While a carbonated contest might sound ridiculous, this particular political battle is deadly serious. In May of this year, Congress passed a law allowing consumer products to stand for election, on the grounds that denying political office to non-sentient life forms was discriminatory. With advertising returns continually diminishing, soda manufacturers have long been searching for novel ways to reach new markets and solidify existing consumer loyalty. It was only a matter of time until nervous politicos saw their worst fears confirmed. With Coke and Pepsi's advertising might and marketing savvy, human politicians might be in for a tough fight this fall.

Of course, not everyone sees this new political tack as negative. "Exercising the franchise is hard work. Why can't voters quench their thirst for democracy and Coca-Cola simultaneously?" asked Coke CEO Gary Bentoff at a press conference composed mainly of rhetorical questions. Bentoff eventually turned the microphone over to a two-liter bottle of Coke-Cola and hid behind the podium, answering reporter's questions in a poorly disguised version of his voice.

Both Mr. Coke (R) and Mr. Pepsi (D) have quickly adapted to real politik. Mr. Pepsi has repeatedly attacked Mr. Coke over his alleged cocaine use during the 1890's, while Mr. Coke has hammered Mr. Pepsi over his foreign policy initiatives in Burma. And during a campaign stop in Branson, Missouri on Tuesday, Mr. Pepsi attacked Mr. Coke on the "character issue," returning again and again to the New Coke debacle. "Mr. Coke, it would appear, is willing to change his political stripes and wavy logo at a moment's notice to suit his needs, rather than the needs of this fair state. Perhaps a more apropos slogan for Mr. Coke would be åI'd like to buy the world a vote.'"

Despite genuine attempts by the two ad-versaries to connect with voters -- both from a political and a branding perspective -- some are finding the marketing agenda more transparent than a bottle of Crystal Pepsi. "All politicians are the same," complained Mary Delworth of Boston. "If Fruitopia's Strawberry Passion Awareness ran for office we'd at least be able to elect someone with 112% of the FDA's recommended daily allowance of Vitamin C. But all that sugar and caffeine is a little hard to swallow."

Citrus cynics aside, most voters are eagerly awaiting this election. Noted Craig Tredt, a famous soda drinker, "George W. Bush? Where was he when I was thirsty last week? This time, I'm voting Pepsi."

Given the years of exposure to the consumer appeals from both companies, the familiarity and trust developed in their pre-political era will most likely serve the two candidates well. Mr. Coke's vigorous support of the Atlanta Olympics and his numerous equipment donations to various high schools have helped his chances tremendously. A recent USA Today poll/taste test put the Republican front-runner ahead by 25 points.

Mr. Pepsi, meanwhile, has been unable to shake the "style over substance" allegations that have dogged his campaign. He is perhaps best known for his attractive wife Diet, who grabbed headlines when she wore a svelte one-liter dress to a recent fundraising gala. But despite Mr. Pepsi's sparkling personality and close ties to the Phantom Menace, he seems unable or unwilling to articulate any concrete platform planks for the new millennium.

Still, with the election still months away, "the real thing" could still lose to "the choice of a new generation" as the sodas vie for the job of commander-in-chief in the most important "cola war" to date.