So, based on these four criteria, is Dundas Square doomed? No. It is a work-in-progress, but impatient Torontonians seem to think it will magically become a success without much personal effort. The city, meanwhile, is doing a poor job of encouraging experimentation. As Mike Smith pointed out in a May Now article, "Skateboards are not welcome. Desecration of any flags is out, as is holding a candle. You're not allowed to stand on any of the tree planters, and you actually need a city-issued permit before you can ride your bike across it."

The current restrictions blow, but news bulletin: we're stuck with this zinc and granite frying pan. For. Ever. The dozen folks still angry over the World's Biggest Jean Store expropriation will not see justice served in their lifetime. Curiously, no one complained about the square during the February 15 anti-war rally -- possibly because it resembles success when crammed full of folks. Defenders reiterate that they are working on "programming" the square with a mix of non-profit and corporate events to ensure that full, not empty, will be the normal gas gauge reading.

I want the square to succeed. Healthy skepticism is a necessity for good journalism, but its constant application is corrosive, spattering flakes of rust everywhere, draining wonder from everything. Besides, my inner taxpayer can't help but mewl that ten-point-four million dollars is too much money to devote to failure. (Unbelievably, the square came in well under its projected $14 million budget, although another $600,000 is required for the new subway entrance, to be completed sometime this year).

Unfortunately, putting the public into public square is going to be a slow process. As Wiley Norvell suggested in a recent eye article, "Dundas Square tries to be many things to many people: tourist magnet, meeting place, advertising platform, entertainment venue, public forum. Reconciling these varied purposes in a single space seems an insurmountable challenge, and one bound to create conflict." We need to sniff around some more and figure out how to mark our territory, so to speak. Writing in the May 31 Globe and Mail, John Barber argues that Adam Tiesen and Brandy Kaye, the renegade chalkers banned for a year for trying to enliven the square, "have the honour of being pioneers in asserting public ownership; no matter what its outcome, the turf war they initiated will last as long as Toronto."

Worthwhile tangent: I recently read a Newday article (Jeff Pearlman, May 15, 2003) about the Naked Cowboy dude at Broadway and Seventh Avenue. For those unfamiliar, Naked Cowboy is a busker who plays guitar and sings wearing only a "cowboy hat, cowboy boots and a pair of white, size 30 Fruit of the Looms." The first time he performed in Times Square, in May of 1998, police asked him to leave. A year and change later, in November of 1999, he tried again. No one bothered him. Today, he is an iconic presence in central Manhattan.

I am not lobbying for a Naked Cowboy in Dundas Square (he would no doubt be banned for life) but understand: it takes only one nearly nude man to make passersby ignore the cyclone of advertising that is Times Square. A nearby hot dog vendor interviewed by Newsday said, "That guy can't sing for shit. He can't play the guitar, either. But people come to Times Square to see him. I mean, they don't even look up anymore."

As Kyle Rae pointed out during our Toronto Life interview, there isn't actually any public space in Times Square. Rae also said his intent was to "create a sense of a living room. I'm trying to keep the square as clean as possible. What I'm trying to do is create the walls around it, which are animated, and keep the living room quiet. That was my vision of the square, that it was to be a place where you could go and be entertained." Right now, an argument about what constitutes legitimate entertainment is occurring. Eventually we'll pestle an ass groove into the living room couch - metaphorically speaking.

As Jane Jacobs points out, in discussing intricacy, "Even the same person comes for different reasons at different times; sometimes to sit tiredly, sometimes to play or to watch a game, sometimes to read or work, sometimes to show off, sometimes to fall in love ... and almost always to be entertained by the sight of other people." My pragmatic self realizes that eventually, some massive commercial venture is going to park itself on the north-east corner of Dundas. Once filled with drug pushers, the busiest intersection in Canada has been replaced with corporations pushing branded soma. Thankfully, we still have time to find ways to counteract the proposed advertising circus, perhaps by creating one of our own.

Failing that, we'll resort to Plan B and drop our trousers.